Don't Hold Back

I thought I went home to Colorado for my friend’s wedding but I think God  actually arranged it for me to go so I could meet Marilyn, a woman in her seventies (I think)  who is quite witty and also happened to be a missionary in Tanzania for twenty years.

I only talked to Marilyn for about fifteen minutes or so, but her words were incredibly timely and just the encouragement I needed to hear. I met Marilyn at fundraiser for a non-profit called Footprints across Africa that conveniently happened to be the same night as I was staying with my friends Lauren and Travis in Denver. So we decided to go.

One of the first things Marilyn said to me when she learned that I would be teaching in Tanzania next year is, “Don’t hold back. When you give everything you can to the people, they will welcome you into their community.” Wow - talk about striking me at the core of my heart. As a naturally reserved person, my default is to hold back. And it is something that I have thought, even worried about. How am I going to open up to my Tanzanian neighbors, colleagues, and students while immersed in a culture so different than my own and I want to pull back and hide rather put myself out there? Hearing these words from someone who has lived and worked in Tanzania, who knows the Tanzanian people, has sunk deep into my heart. I pray that those words will reverberate in my head at the precise moments next year when I want to hide.  Instead, by God’s grace and strength, I will chose to take the risk and not hold back.  I mean let’s face it, as hard as it can be to overcome your fears, life is a lot more fun when you don't hold back!

It is amazing how a few minutes with a total stranger can bring such deep peace about one of the biggest decisions in my life. I will be honest, there are times that I watch as my friends and peers have gotten married, bought a house, and are now in the baby stage, that I feel like I totally missed the boat on the American Dream or that I am forever stunted in the growing process called life and I will not get to experience those things. But then again, I remember in college when my friends were talking about the type of dishwasher they wanted in their dream house, I was dreaming about living in the jungle in Africa. Talking with Marilyn  who not only gets, but has lived, the Adventure dream in Africa has helped me to see that I am doing what I was called to do. I will get to live the Adventure Dream and I am trusting that marriage and kids will come with it. I just may not get house with white picket face and the latest dishwasher, but you know what I am ok with that. Especially if my dishwasher is not a thing but a person, one who becomes my close friend and prayer buddy =)

Thank you, Papa, for connecting me with Marilyn at a time I really needed to hear that. You are so good and Your timing is perfect!